Wednesday, July 11, 2012

'Game of Thrones' and Other Prestige TV Video Games

A first trailer for Game of Thrones: Seven Kingdoms, a new video game based on the wildly popular fantasy book series turned HBO television show, has been released and despite it looking a little silly, it made us curious. What other popular prestige shows could be turned into video games? Let's speculate!

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True Blood

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Guide hero Sookie Stackhouse through a backwoods swamp world of vampires, werewolves, and other spookies in the Grand Theft Auto-esque, action-packed True Blood: Bon Temps Blitzkrieg. Missions include rescuing Tara from Merlotte's, rescuing Tara from Fangtasia, and rescuing Tara from Eric's house. Much like the show, there is way too much Tara in the True Blood video game. Engage in as much graphic sex as possible to earn points and unlock other playable characters! Help Alcide flex his muscles in the side mission "Alcide's Abs Adventure." Try to keep Arlene crying in the restaurant kitchen for as long as possible in "This Is All Arlene Ever Does." And strip for points in "Jason Stackhouse's Saucy Saturday." Eventually the game gets too unnecessarily complicated and stops making sense altogether, but it's fun for a while in the beginning. And that Jason Stackhouse level is really great. (This one might actually happen, so beware.)

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Girls

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Guide Hannah Horvath through the confusing world of Brooklyn in this RPG that is either the most important game ever made or terrible garbage that only exists because its mom is a famous video game designer. Hannah is on a grand quest to find a respectable job, and on the way she must solve a hipster's riddles three, navigate the treacherous Gowanus Canal, and unlock the power of the mystical artisanal mayonnaise. Villainous, Manhattan-dwelling Sex and the City fans will try to thwart her, and of course her parents are big bosses, but through the power of complaining and, yes, graphic sex, you can guide Hannah to victory. Or some vague thing that's like victory. Or whatever. Something. A blog. It ends with a blog.

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Breaking Bad

In this first-person shooter, Walter White goes on a rip-roaring rampage in New Mexico, dispatching drug fiends and felons all while trying to rescue his not-so-trusty sidekick Jesse. The game starts kinda mild but then by the end it's crazy violent, full of shocking and explosive surprises and lots of black humor. One level has WW storming a Mexican hacienda, another takes place in a Los Pollos Hermanos processing plant. Morals and ethics quickly fly out the window as Walter (you) descends further and further into the world of crime. There's a secret bonus level where you can play as bad-ass Mike, but it's really hard to unlock; you have to collect all the blue meth crystals scattered around the lab in like 20 seconds. It's freaking impossible.

Downton Abbey

Quick! Lord Grantham needs his tea and it's already getting cold! In this fun side-scrolling title, you play as a downstairs maid who has to race against the clock, and avoid scheming Thomas and O'Brien, to carry out various tasks for the richies upstairs. Level bosses include a cane-hurling Lady Grantham, a mean Turkish lord who can only be killed one way, and a near-indestructible Vera Bates. Don't get influenza and don't speak out of turn, and you just might win a few pence raise at the end of the game.

The Newsroom

In this Dr. Mario-like game, stack up words and cliches to build the biggest, best Aaron Sorkin speech/lecture you can! Lazy media goes with Tea Party goes with informed electorate goes with integrity and so on. And on, and on. And on. And then on some more.

Any other ideas?

 



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